Predictions for the Week of My Sister Claudia's Visit

Tomorrow my evil sister Claudia will be arriving from out west.  She will be staying with us for Easter, from April 5^th – April 11^th.  Claudia has always been difficult from when she was little – even my mother would say so.  She has treated my brother Geoffrey and I like garbage all our lives, and whenever she visits it’s like a tornado of anger, rage, anxiety, temper tantrums, and guilt trips sweeps through our home.

I should clarify a few things right now:

1)  Claudia has recently become a psychologist.

2)  With any dispute we have, she uses her education in psychology to justify anything she does and make anything we say or do appear wrong.

3)  I’m positive that Claudia is a narcissist.  I’ve been reading a lot about narcissism, and I believe she has at least 8 out of 9 characteristics of a narcissist.

4)   Everyone in my family has health problems – me, my brother, my mother, and my father.  Everyone but Claudia.   And Claudia is the LEAST understanding person because she has never had to deal with illness or disability.  And because narcissists lack empathy.

5)  She has an extremely inaccurate view of our levels of disability and the challenges they can cause.  This may in part be because she hasn’t seen us for about 2 years.  Regardless, seeing us and seeing all that we can’t do will be a rude awakening for her.  Most likely though, she will accuse us of not trying hard enough.

6)  She has been pressuring us for years to go and visit her out west.  We try to explain how impractical this is given our health problems, but she refuses to believe it and/or claims that it is all due to not taking good enough care of ourselves.

7)  She is extremely controlling.

8)  My mother claims that Claudia has matured a lot.  This of course is based on phone conversations and nothing more.  That said, Mom is still very nervous about Claudia’s visit.

9)  When my brother and I talk to Claudia on the phone, we’ve both noticed that she is a lot nicer, yet we both get the sense that she is trying with all her might to hold back.  In other words, Geoffrey and I both think her agreeableness is just an act.

So, now that you are briefly caught up, the following is a list of predictions I am making regarding what will take place from the time Claudia arrives tomorrow till the time she leaves on the 11^th.  I am getting them in writing and posted online so that if any come true, I can prove to my family that I had predicted them before her arrival.  This is not to say that I anticipate all of my predictions to come true.  I am simply trying to cover any and all possibilities.

Predictions for the Week of Claudia’s Visit

1.  Claudia will object to me biting my nails and/or tell me that my nails are gross.

2.  Claudia won’t know how to turn on the TV or put on a DVD. 

3.  If me or my brother can’t sleep at night and get up to watch TV, Claudia will yell at me and my brother to turn down the TV.  This may lead to a fight.

4.  Claudia will talk, yell, or try to annoy me when I’m watching TV - probably during something good like a documentary that won’t be on again.

5.  Claudia will recommend that we eat organic fruits & vegetables and this could start an argument/fight when we try to explain that they are too expensive.  If she then buys some for us and we don’t eat them, there will be an even bigger fight.

6.  Claudia will ask me and my brother to go to dinner with her and when we say no due to legitimately not feeling well, she will:

 A)  start fighting with us and/or throw a temper tantrum

 B)  accuse us of not taking good enough care of ourselves

 C)  get mad and declare that we just don’t want to go with her, which will partly be true

 D)  tell us that the reason we don’t feel well enough to go out is that we are not motivated enough

7.  When Claudia finds out that I have pain in my chest and trouble breathing, she will freak out and won’t believe that it is actually related to my Fibromyalgia, which it is.  Regardless of how much I fill her in on the subject, she will secretly believe that I have some kind of heart condition, and thus my diet must be dangerously flawed, just like the rest of me and my life.

8.  If I’m able to go on a walk while she’s here, she will excitedly offer to come with me, as she feels that exercise and nutrition are her areas of expertise.  When I tell her as nicely as possible that I prefer to go alone, that it’s my “me time,” she will get upset and possibly start a fight.

9.  She will want to use my Wii Fit, or she will want us to do Wii Fit together.  If I don’t want to, this will start a fight.

10.  Claudia will either borrow my things without asking, or she will ask only to start a fight when I refuse to lend her my things.  Some things she might take include:

A)     my shampoo and conditioner

B)     my make up

C)     my socks – WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN!

D)    my shirts and possibly pyjamas as they will be very roomy

E)     my curlers or spoodles

F)     my hair-bands, elastics, other hair accessories, face mask, face soap

G)     sweaters

11.  When Claudia sees that my fatigue keeps me from helping out around the house or doing anything with her, this will start a fight in which she lectures me to stop doing things that she thinks cause my fatigue, even though said things are unrelated.

12.  Claudia will try to convince me not to repaint my room, remove the carpet, and refinish the hardwood floor.  She will want to know why it’s so important to me in the first place.  Since I will most likely refuse to tell her, this will start a fight.

13.  If Claudia notices that I neatly underline passages in books I read, she will wonder why and possibly try to convince me that I shouldn’t bother, because it’s not like I’m studying the book for school.

14.  Claudia may try to convince me to take distance education courses at the university, especially if she sees that I am able to read once in a while.  When I explain that my concentration is unpredictable and that I probably won’t be able to make deadlines, she will show very clearly that she isn’t satisfied with my explanation.  This could start a fight as well, as she will not understand why I can read some books and not do reading for school.

15.  If Claudia takes a shower she won’t clean out the tub and this will start a huge fight.

16.  Claudia will lecture me, my mom, and my brother Geoffrey about the amount of Coke we drink.

17.  Claudia will try to convince me, my mom, and my brother to get rid of stuff that we want to keep.  This could start a huge fight.

18.  Claudia will complain about how crappy our telephones are and nag us to get new ones.

19.  Claudia will either complain about my mother’s driving, refuse to let Mom drive her anywhere, or suggest that Mom’s license be taken away.  This will really hurt my mother’s feelings and, of course, start a huge fight.

20.  Claudia will start a fight about how much time my brother and I spend in the house, and won’t accept that it is due to our pain and fatigue.

21.  Claudia will get extremely frustrated with my mother for always falling asleep on the toilet at night.  Claudia will not be able to keep her awake at night and will get angry that the alarm Mom uses doesn’t work.  She may attempt to buy my mother a better alarm, but if this also doesn’t work, Claudia may suggest that my mom should be in a nursing home.  If not, she may suggest that this extreme drowsiness is due to one of my mother’s medications and try to convince her to stop taking something that she actually needs.

22.  Claudia will get extremely frustrated with my mother for falling asleep in front of the TV or while beading.  This too will cause a fight, especially if my mom refuses to go to bed.  There will be an even bigger fight if my mom is drinking tea in this drowsy condition, in which she can spill it all over herself.

23.  Claudia will want to use our digital camera, and thus will be angry when she finds out that the battery is broken and we have not yet bought a new one.

24.  Claudia will want to use my laptop and will be angry when I refuse.  She will ask why my brother is allowed to use it but not her.  I will explain that we’ve made an agreement, in which he will help me repaint my bedroom in exchange for use of my laptop, but she will still be angry.

25.  Claudia will be angry that our desktop computer in the basement is broken, and will nag us to plug in her old computer.  If Dad refuses, Claudia will nag me about this, as she feels I am the one in the family she has the most control over.  Since it is not my computer and I have my own, she will be wasting her time.

26.  At some point during her visit, she will be so exasperated with us for something, and will declare that she shouldn’t even have come.

27.  Claudia will try to convince my family to move out west with her.  Apparently she has already mentioned it to my mother before.  She will claim that the nice weather and scenery will help us with our health problems, and that if she lives nearby she can help us with things like chores.

Okay, that’s it for now.  After she’s gone I’ll try to write to let you know which ones came true.  Wish me luck, and wish my family luck as well.

My Frustrating, Hormonal Day

Okay, some new things to report:

I finally ended up watching Avatar last night, and hope to write a short but to-the-point article to be published on this blog about why I think the Vatican really has a problem with the film. So my imaginary readers can have something to look forward to reading about other than my “progress.”

(The term “progress” is a word which here means “trying pathetically to convince oneself that one is taking steps forward despite multiple steps back.”)

On Thursday I had my acupuncture appointment which, despite the weird feeling when the needles were inserted, actually felt kind of nice. For about an hour or two after the appointment I felt pretty good, but then started to feel really awful in the evening, a feeling which continued up until this morning. I managed to get to bed at about 2:30 am – not the greatest, but a more appropriate hour than the previous day – and got up at about 9:30 am feeling slightly less painful and more energetic. The energy may be partly to do with the iron supplements I managed to take a couple times recently, and plan to take on a more regular basis.

After my appointment Mom took me to a thrift store – she’s totally obsessed with them – where I ended up seeing a rack that would make a great potion rack for my Alice In Wonderland themed crafts. It was only about $5.00, which means I brought one more piece of crap into this cluttered house of junk. To make matters worse, the next day Mom took me to Michaels and insisted we stop at another thrift store nearby where I bought 2 foam heads for $2.99 each. As usual when I buy something large and frightening to a foreign father with no hobbies, I leave the item in the car over night to try to sneak it in the house the next day. If Dad ends up noticing it, I just act like I’ve had the item for a long time. (Before you get all judgemental about my methods, I should strongly note that Mom taught me that trick and I have witnessed her use it on more than one occasion.) Unfortunately, Mom was in need of the space in the van and had Dad bring its contents into the house – I can’t imagine what Dad must have thought seeing that rack and pair of heads.

(By the way, Mom needed the space in the van because she was having another jewellery-sale at the library. Unfortunately, very few people came but the week before she was the only seller to make any money. Nobody bought from anyone else.)

Well, this morning was stressful. While sitting here on the couch, minding my own business and getting my ass kicked by my computer at Chess, Dad felt the need to remind me that the living room needs to be cleaned of my lingering craft supplies that seem to be scattered in all rooms of the house like darkening, thickening clouds appearing to cover the sky on an otherwise beautiful day. One might think, as Dad approached me sitting here at my usual spot on the couch in the living room which happens to face said pile of my crap that Dad would just assume he would not need to inform me that the room needs to be cleaned. However, one probably does not have a dad like mine.
Dad and I proceeded to argue about this loudly in the morning, and continued somewhat later when I actually spent about an hour organizing my craft supplies because he could not reach the fridge in the basement kitchen. Then to top it all off, when I was finished and came upstairs to put some scrap-paper in the bag in the closet to be recycled he complained about how full the closet was!

Maybe during a normal day I would be able to deal with all of this, but I’m having some trouble coping with the stress right now. I’m probably a little hormonal due to my impending period. I feel like there’s no hope, that something awful awaits me, and it is only a matter of time.

Accomplishments:

- sorted craft supplies for about 1 hour; eliminated a box of junk and found some craft supplies I am willing to part with, which I put in a box that is slowly being filled to be sent to a thrift store
- did dishes right after dinner
- cooked breakfast for myself and did the dishes I used
- managed not to have Coke, even though I was having tacos for dinner

Introduction Part 2: New Year's Resolution Goals

Okay, so for this second and equally important introduction to me and my blog, I would like to post my list of New Year’s Resolutions, which I created here in my living room on my laptop – the Tardis – at 3 o’clock in the morning watching The 40 Year Old Virgin. It is 3 o’clock in the morning now as well, and so it would appear that the first 4 months of the year have gone by without any change, although to be fair I am not watching The 40 Year Old Virgin – but I should probably note that I am watching Undeclared, a show starring Seth Rogen and created by Judd Apatow, creator of The 40 Year Old Virgin. Anyway, even though I know things haven’t changed a lot yet, I’m not abandoning my goals completely or at all for that matter.

That is one of the reasons I started this blog.

A major topic any potential readers can expect to see on this blog apart from my work on my magazine and other crafts, is the progress of my New Year’s Resolutions list. Think of it as a sadder version of Bridget Jones’s Diary, except without the luxury of shagging two different guys before the year’s out because this Bridget Jones is Love Shy.
I’ve learned that I need to be a little more realistic about what I can do and start small. So far, I think that is what I am going to do. Even though I will post my list of resolutions, I should make the following clear now:

1) I may be revising as I see fit given what I think I am capable of.
2) For the most part, I am not giving myself a time limit to complete the goals – even though I would love to complete them before the end of the year, I know that there are certain goals that are too large to accomplish so quickly, especially while trying to juggle other goals as well.
3) My primary concern is becoming more independent and healthier, so that I can ultimately be happy, take care of myself, and accomplish all other goals I wish to achieve. That said, I will be satisfied if I do not gain anymore weight but become more active, or if I manage to lose only 10-15 pounds by the end of the year, just as long as I am moving closer to my goal of independence.
I should write here also that, in addition to my goals for the year, I am giving myself goals for each day:

1) Wake up in the morning; go to bed at night and sleep through the night.
2) Eat a healthy breakfast after waking up.
3) After breakfast: brush teeth, wash face, wash armpits, apply deodorant, brush hair, and dress.
4) After washing and dressing, complete physiotherapy exercises for the day.
5) Take all medication at correct times.
6) Complete 10-15 minutes of aerobic exercise and increase by 5 minute increments when ready.
7) Attempt a chore or errand.
8) Brush teeth, wash face, and change into pyjamas before going to bed.

The above may seem very basic and childish to anyone who reads this, but you must remember that these small things are like milestones for someone with all of my health problems. I’ll leave you with a list of my goals for the rest of the year along with some my accomplishments so far, which I will try to do in every blog entry.

Today’s Accomplishment: Completed ½ of my daily physiotherapy exercises.
Did not consume any Coke today.
Cleaned out the litter box.
Brushed teeth and washed face.
Washed dishes.
Hobbies: Painted 3 boxes for my mom for her upcoming jewellery sale, and painted the surface of 1 plaque for an Alice In Wonderland crafts.

Random Thought: Blogging with no followers is like being shipwrecked, writing an SOS,putting it in a glass bottle, and casting it out to sea hoping somebody will come across it by accident.


New Year's Resolutions for 2010

1. Take good care of yourself.

 Brush your teeth every day.
 Wash your face every day.
 Try to shower 1-2 times / week.
 Exercise 3-4 days / week and work up to 7 days / week.
 Weekly Chart: record all medication, food, exercise, and important health information daily.
 Try NutriSystem more accurately; abstain from soft drinks; abstain from fast food and junk food.
 Use Nintendo Wii Balance Board and Dance Dance Revolution weekly.
 Make and keep regular doctor & acupuncture appointments.

2. Live life to the fullest, get out more, and learn to be more independent.

 Try a different cafe, restaurant, bar, or store every week.
 Get age of majority card. Apply in January.
 Take steps to get driver’s license.
 Take classes.
 Keep in touch with friends.

3. Remodel bedroom into library/study so that you have work space for writing or studying.

 Buy wall-hugger futon that is attractive & comfortable for sleeping, writing, and reading.
 Install lock on bedroom door.
 Buy stereo with CD player, alarm clock, radio, and tape player.
 Install a different lamp shade for bedroom light.
 Install a different blind, preferably a wooden or bamboo blind.
 Install medicine cabinet with a lock above light switch
 Buy cabinet/armoire for cosmetics & hair accessories or have one made to your own specifications
 Install adjustable shelves on walls to be used for books, stereo, CDs, sewing machine, computer ...
 Paint walls more appropriate colour and get carpet or wood floor.

4. Take care of your money / finances.

 Put cell phone bill on Visa.
 Pay Visa bill on time always.
 Do not spend money on unneeded things.

5. Keep things cleaner, neater, and more accessible.

 Do the litter box every other day.
 Keep bedroom clean: clothes hung & folded, laundry in the laundry room, etc ...
 Keep craft supplies & basement kitchen neat & clean – buy storage supplies if necessary.

6. Work hard and seriously on your writing career.

 Buy a bag for transporting laptop.
 Work on writing projects weekly if not daily.
 Get a change of scenery, and the take laptop to a library or coffee shop to write.
 Create and keep up websites for your work to recruit fans and display for people to see.
 Eventually purchase a drawing palette and Photoshop program for cartoon and comic work.
 Try to finish launch issue of magazine by the end of 2010.

7. Other important goals:

 Learn to play the drums so that you can be part of Matt’s band.
 Make mixed CDs and DVDs with covers and labels.
 Take breaks and pace yourself!
 Don’t be afraid to talk back to people who are being assholes. Pick your moments of course, but if someone
implies something rude about your body, remember that they most likely have issues about their body image, so
point that out and be just as rude back. Don’t be afraid to point out the flaws of others!