The Shocking Truth - What a 26-Year-Old Girl Really Wants For Her Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday ... I am now 26. About a month ago, I typed out my birthday list for my family and posted it on the fridge. No sooner had I done so than I immediately began to regret not adding certain requests. It occurred to me to reprint the list with the necessary amendments, but I concluded that I had already asked for so much that it wouldn’t be practical to add anything more.
Nevertheless, I have had a lot more time to think about what I want for my birthday in the last month, and feel that I should definitely list my desires somewhere. So here it is – for anybody curious about what a 26-year-old girl really wants for her birthday, keep reading for some shocking insight:

What A 26-Year-Old Girl Really Wants For Her Birthday

1. PEACE AND FUCKING QUIET!

For the last few days, this has been what I have wanted more than anything else in the world and the one person who constantly refuses to give me this gift is my mother. I love my mother very much and I know that she loves me too. But she is getting longer and longer-winded and, for some reason, louder and louder! I would give anything to not have to hear the conversations she has with my dad in the kitchen while I am in my bedroom with the door shut trying to sleep.

2. A Brain for My Dad

This is something I have wanted since the age of 9 or 10, the age where it really dawned on me just how ignorant and thoughtless my father actually is. After watching a documentary a few days ago, I told my dad about what I learned – apparently every atom in our bodies was once inside a star that exploded. This means that we are literally made of stardust! I thought this was amazing, so I informed my dad of this newly learned fact. I should have guessed that he wouldn’t believe it. He thinks that God created the world in 7 days, that we came from Adam and Eve, that evolution is untrue, that science is “a lotta bullshit,” and yet continues to take his medication, use light bulbs, surf the web, and drive an automobile. Yes ... science is a lotta bullshit ... it never gave us anything useful!

3. A Limit Placed On My Dad’s Sneezing

Everyday my dad has sneezing fits at least twice. And these fits contain 10 or more sneezes. If they were politely covered up or relatively quiet I would not have such a problem with this. But when my dad sneezes it sounds like he’s screaming! Is that really necessary? I realize people can’t control their sneezes, but couldn’t they control their voice to a certain degree when sneezing? Every time he sneezes, I want to loudly yell “SHUT UUUUUUUP!”

4. Laws Passed Regarding Annoying Commercials

I am starting to think that annoying commercials are dangerous to the sanity of the public, not to mention prejudiced against the elderly and people with health problems. Anyone unable to work or participate in certain kinds of activities might spend a great deal of time in front of the television. While the programs available may be annoying themselves, the commercials that interrupt them make me want to brutally destroy the television! They are loud (Gillette Fusion Proglide), repetitive (DejaView shows), sexist (Axe Hair Products), poorly acted and scripted (Bump It), mind-numbingly stupid (IntelliEAR), obnoxious (ShamWow and Slap Chop), and lastly, by using excerpts of popular songs they ultimately “promote” their product by ruining a song for the public forever (Swiffer). Some senior citizens like my mother and people with disabilities like me and my brother rely on television at times when we are too tired or physically unable to occupy our time otherwise. It’s bad enough that the shows available appeal to the lowest common denominator, but to subject us to these mindless commercials is unusual cruelty. I wouldn’t be surprised if long-term exposure to these ads actually kills more brain cells than dangerous drugs. I think there should be strict laws passed against mindless, meaningless, boring, loud, repetitive, ads and that if a commercial breaks a law no more commercials for that product can be aired. If anyone could pass such legislation as a birthday gift to me, I would be forever grateful.

5. Better Quality Programming

While I do not despise television shows as much as the commercials that molest them and their viewers, I do long for better quality programming. I want more documentaries about diverse topics aired all day every day: like I said, some people with health problems may rely on television to occupy their time so only airing complete garbage is insulting and cruel. Some people are smarter than to be satisfied with The Jerry Springer Show, which is really just the modern-day equivalent to the barbaric carnival freak shows of the past. Here are the following TV shows that I do enjoy – executive producers take note:

>;- Great Thinkers Of Our Time (The Mark Steel Lectures)
- History Bites
- Art Attack
- Twin Peaks
- LOST
- The Twilight Zone (1950s)
- True Blood
- Pushing Daisies
- Mad Men
- Doctor Who
- Daria
- The Big Bang Theory
- Alienated


6. Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts to Stop Smiling On CameraOkay, I get that these two actresses are famous and attractive, and I get that they appear in chick-flicks. I also get that they have nice smiles and everything but, after a while, seeing their lovely smiles ALL THE TIME lowers their uniqueness. Every time I see a commercial for a dumb chick-flick featuring one of these women, I feel like the voice-over should really just say “See this guy make this girl this happy!” Alternatively, the voice-over could also say, “You probably identify with this girl so if you see this movie, this is how happy it will make you feel!” Even scenes not shown in the ads seem to show these actresses unnaturally happy at moments in the film that don’t seem to be that special! Am I the only one who’s noticed this?!
There are probably other actresses who could show their teeth a little less also.

7. Prohibition on Re-making Old Movies

Apparently some people are way too cool to like any entertainment that was not created this year. Anything old is just disgusting! Well, that attitude is really great for business because that means that the movie, fashion, music, and television industries can recycle anything and still make money off of it! Think about it: if the public is too cool to try and watch older movies such as Halloween, Clash of the Titans, and King Kong, then studios can re-make them employing famous actors of the day and using modern special effects and technology. Then the movie-goers will automatically assume that the hotter actors and better affects mean that the film will be worth seeing, that it would be like taking something old and crappy and making it better! Well ... it’s not. For those of us who can appreciate older movies and aren’t so easily distracted by special effects and beautiful people it feels like HARDLY ANY MOVIES ARE BEING MADE.
Think about it. Imagine for a moment that there was a portion of the public that did not want to see ANY re-made movies and ONLY preferred the originals ... think of how little a selection of movies at the theatres there would be for such an audience! People who are unafraid of entertainment from the past still deserve to have movies geared towards them. If a studio re-makes a film, I think they should have to re-interpret or add something to it so that those of us who enjoyed the original can still enjoy the re-make.

I think that’s all for now. If I can think of any more birthday list amendments I will certainly add them.

The Big Bang Theory - Why We Love It

Scroll down to the end of the article for Fun Features.

I’ve been planning for a while to blog about what I think are great TV shows and what specifically I think makes them so great – so to start with, I will be discussing the CBS TV show The Big Bang Theory created by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady.

According to Wikipedia, this show is “about two fictional Caltech geniuses, one an experimental physicist (Leonard Hofstadter) and the other a theoretical physicist (Sheldon Cooper), who live across the hall from an attractive blond waitress and aspiring actress (Penny).” It continues, “Leonard and Sheldon's geekiness and intellect are contrasted for comic effect with Penny's social skills and common sense. An aerospace engineer (Howard Wolowitz) and a particle astrophysicist (Rajesh Koothrappali) are their equally geeky and socially awkward co-workers and friends."

In other words, this is a show - like many - about a group of friends; except this group-of-friends consists of stereotypical geeks. The only non-geek in the group (also the only girl in the group) is Penny, and it is partly through her eyes that we see the other characters. So, this said, what sets this show apart from other sitcoms.

1. Most sitcoms like Friends insult your intelligence. This one definitely does not!

Personally, this show has made me more interested in science, particularly physics. But apart from that, it is informative, often teaching the audience various topics without the audience even realizing it. For example, Sheldon’s odd food habits made it possible for him to inform his friends, and thus the audience that when eating Tai food it is not necessary to use chopsticks because Tailand has had the fork for the latter half of the nineteenth century. He further explains that they do not use it to put the food into their mouths, but use it to put the food on a spoon which then goes into their mouths!

I wasn’t sure if others besides myself and my mother agreed on this quality of the show, so I searched for The Big Bang Theory on Yahoo!Answers to see what people thought of it. Someone who goes by the name of Jeff G asked 8 months ago, “Why is the TV Show The Big Bang Theory so popular?” One replier who goes by the name Entropy replied,

“I'm pretty nerdy and I love it. It is the only sitcom on TV whose jokes are occasionally smarter than slapstick about the stupid person. The fact that alot of the reference gags focus on nerd culture (sci fi, comics, etc) further personalizes it for me. But the science jokes where they don't completely dumb it down for the lowest common denominator...that's what attracts me to it. 99% of sitcoms are the same. This one is a little different.”

http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsuPm1FOFcnakYgfrd1NwQ3pFQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20091216171952AAaZGHr

2. The characters are definitely more diverse than the typical group of friends on a sitcom ...

Raj is Indian and a Hindu, Howard is Jewish, Sheldon comes from a Christian family, yet seems to be an atheist, and Leonard was raised in what appears to be an atheist family as well.

3. Instead of main characters who are physically fit, athletic, and who are so conventionally attractive that they could be models – these guys are skinny, more average, and goofy-looking ...

... having said that, despite any skinniness, lack of biceps, short stature, glasses, and anything else one might associate with the geek, it’s obvious that these guys are still pretty attractive. So what if they’re not macho like Penny’s ex-boyfriend Kurt (who appropriately dresses up for her Halloween party like a cave-man)? It’s obvious that the Kurt-type characters need their physique to distract girls from the fact that they have no sense of humour, intellect, sensitivity, etc ...

4. While shows like Sex and The City and Friends feature stylish characters with the latest clothes that viewers will eventually want to buy to be hip, these guys are geek chic!

Not only do they wear T-shirts with super-hero logos, molecules, and other scientific concepts that go right over my head, but these guys are criticized for their fashion sense by non-geeks like Penny and yet they continue to wear the clothes that they love anyways! And why shouldn’t they? Their clothes rock! And I’m not the only one who thinks so ... Check out the following website where you can buy T-shirts featured on the show!

http://www.sheldonshirts.com/index.html

Along with T-shirts featured on the show, fans can purchase T-shirts with characters and famous quotes: 5. While most sitcoms show women like Penny - conventionally attractive - as successful, desirable, and as having healthy sex lives, The Big Bang Theory shows some less conventionally attractive women who are also successful and desirable while having active dating and sex lives ...

Yes, Penny is adored by Leaonard and has many other admirers, but she seems to be unhappy in her love life, as well as in her professional life – though an aspiring actress, she currently waitresses at The Cheesecake Factory. Other women characters, however, seem to have more successful love lives and careers.

Dr. Leslie Winkle, for example, is a physisist like Leonard and Sheldon,and in some ways a stereotypical geek as well. Visually she is a sort of female counterpart to Leonard - unlike blond, tanned, curvy, perky Penny, Leslie is skinny with brown, curly hair and glasses, and could not be characterized by happy/perkiness. In fact, she slightly mocks girls like Penny after making dates with Leonard by saying in a high, girly voice, “Call me!” Unlike the stereotypical geek, however, Leslie has a very active sex life. She is also not shy when it comes to making dates like other female geek characters. On the contrary, she is very confident.

There is also Dr. Stephanie Barnett, a highly distinguished surgical resident. Also unlike Penny, Stephanie is a tall, plus-sized character with short red hair. She doesn’t look like the typical medical doctor you’ll see on TV – for some reason they are all physically fit and have obvious model-like sex appeal – but we see that she too has an active dating and sex life. Not many TV shows portray plus size women as having success in these areas, let alone as being desirable to more than one man to the point of jealousy, but The Big Bang Theory does!

6. While most TV shows and sitcoms centre around perfect men who get lots of action, The Big Bang Theory centres around men with some obvious flaws and challenges that are realistic and often unacknowledged ...

Dr. Leonard Hofstadter can be described as love shy. According to Wikipedia, love shyness is “a severe chronic shyness that inhibits intimate relationships” making it “difficult to impossible to be assertive in informal situations involving potential romantic or sexual encounters.” In other words, Leonard – and perhaps some of the other guys as well – is too shy to initiate romantic relationships and sexual encounters. Unfortunately, this is a real phenomenon more common among men and women than most people realize.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper is believed by many viewers to have Asperger’s Syndrome. According to Wikipedia, Asperger’s Syndrome is “an autism spectrum disorder that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interactions along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests.” Particular qualities symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome that Sheldon seems to have are lack of empathy, impairment in social interaction, intense preoccupation with a narrow subject. Sheldon could also be considered a savant – a person with a developmental disorder who has one or more areas of expertise, ability, or brilliance that are in contrast with the individual's overall limitations.

Howard Wolowitz, characterized by his skinny build, has a condition called transient idiopathic arrhythmia which is responsible for his only having 3% body fat. According once again to Wikipedia, arrhythmia is “a condition in which there is abnormal electrical activity in the heart.” Furthermore it explains that while some arrhythmias can be minor and may simply have annoying symptoms such as awareness of the heartbeat, “some arrhythmias are life-threatening medical emergencies that can result in cardiac arrest and sudden death.” Whatever the severity of Howard’s condition, what we do know is that he is proud of only having 3% body fat! Apart from this, Howard also has a severe, life-threatening allergy to peanuts, and was shown to have fallen in a deep depression after being rejected by Penny, during which he missed work and seemed to remain secluded in his bedroom.

Dr. Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali could also be described as love shy, yet in addition to this he suffers from selective mutism. According to good old Wikipedia, selective mutism is “a communicative disorder in which a person is unable to speak in given situations, or to specific people” and in Raj’s case, he is unable to speak to women, particularly attractive women. Since it occurred to me that viewers could find this to be a stereotype and an offensive one at that, I looked into the development of this character and found that one of the show’s creators actually knew a young man with this same pathology – he was unable to talk to women due to severe shyness. So, like love shyness and Asperger’s Syndrome, selective mutism is a real phenomenon, and possibly a little-known phenomenon, as some feel the need to raise awareness of selective mutism by wearing turquoise wristbands that display the phrase “breaking the silence.”

7. Despite many character flaws, the show seems to centre around the personal growth of the characters in a way that reminds us of the fairy tale The Frog Prince ...

... but not The Frog Prince you probably heard as a child in which a kiss transformed the frog into a prince. In the original story of The Frog Prince, the spoiled princess reluctantly fulfilled the creepy bargain with the frog, but became disgusted when the frog wanted more than to just sleep on her pillow. The frog desired a kiss, and what would happen if the princess complied ... would he want even more? In her disgust, the princess asserted herself and threw the frog against the wall, and it is this action that transformed the hideous frog into an attractive human prince. The princess ultimately deserved the prince because she bettered herself through assertion, and the frog ultimately deserved the princess and was thus transformed because he learned that he could not impose or take advantage of others. Thus, both characters grew and learned important lessons.

Why is this fairytale significant in relation to The Big Bang Theory? You might say that Penny is like a spoiled princess, in the sense that she has no problems imposing on Leonard and Sheldon upon first meeting them – just as the princess imposed on the frog to retrieve her golden ball, Penny imposes on Leonard and Sheldon to retrieve her television set from her bullying ex-boyfriend who inevitably steals their pants, making them return home in their underwear.

Not only does she do this, but she imposes once more when having furniture delivered and, though she barely knows Leonard and Sheldon, she trustingly gives them the spare key to her apartment. Though her neighbors do carry the package up to their floor and into her apartment, they violate her trust later that night by entering her apartment while she slept to clean! While this is incredibly creepy and uncalled for, one could argue that Penny had no business trusting complete strangers with a spare key to her apartment in the first place! Penny certainly learned her lesson for being so trusting, and Leonard and Sheldon learned theirs for being so intrusive. One could claim that Leonard and Sheldon are both like the frog – both have a prince inside them somewhere but both have a lot to learn about people in order to grow and be worthy of anyone.

Raj and Howard also exhibit frog-like qualities in that Raj got drunk on a date with Penny, behaved rudely, and introduced her to his parents as his girlfriend, while Howard took advantage of her consoling him in another episode and tried to kiss her. Penny forced Raj to verbally apologize despite being too shy to talk to women, and punched Howard as he tried to kiss her.

I would say that the male characters have a positive effect on Penny in that she is learning to be less naive, more empathetic, less spoiled, and that her general view of the world is broadening overall. Furthermore, Penny’s effect on the male characters is also positive in that they are learning to behave more appropriately when it comes to women, and are perhaps broadening and expanding socially overall. I would even say that before Penny, their whole universe was in hot dense state, but once she moved in, expansion started (... in other words, Penny was the BIG BANG!).

Fun Features

25 The Big Bang Theory Buttons from Ebay

http://cgi.ebay.ca/25-Big-Bang-Theory-1-buttons-Sheldon-pins-SARCASM-sign-/170397510162?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0

The Big Bang Theory Theme Song

"The History of Everything" by the Barenaked Ladies

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall (we built the pyramids),
Math, science, history, unravelling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang!

"Since the dawn of man" is really not that long,
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.
A fraction of a second and the elements were made.
The bipeds stood up straight,
The dinosaurs all met their fate,
They tried to leap but they were late
And they all died (they froze their asses off)
The oceans and pangea
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same big bang!

It all started with the big BANG!

It's expanding ever outward but one day
It will cause the stars to go the other way,
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won’t be hurt
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!

Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating out while here they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)
Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy
It all started with the big bang!

Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology
It all started with the big bang!
It all started with the big BANG!

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock






The Friendship Alogrithm




The Big Bang Theory Official Website
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/big_bang_theory/

The Big Bang Theory
http://the-big-bang-theory.com/


The Big Bang Theory Fan Website
http://www.fanpop.com/spots/the-big-bang-theory

Sheldon Shirts
http://www.sheldonshirts.com/

Big Bang Theory T-shirts (from TV Store Online.com)

http://www.tvstoreonline.com/tv-shows--big-bang-theory.html