I should clarify a few things right now:
1) Claudia
has recently become a psychologist.
2) With
any dispute we have, she uses her education in psychology to justify anything
she does and make anything we say or do appear wrong.
3) I’m
positive that Claudia is a narcissist. I’ve
been reading a lot about narcissism, and I believe she has at least 8 out of 9
characteristics of a narcissist.
4)
Everyone in my family has health problems – me, my brother, my mother,
and my father. Everyone but
Claudia. And Claudia is the LEAST
understanding person because she has never had to deal with illness or
disability. And because narcissists lack
empathy.
5) She
has an extremely inaccurate view of our levels of disability and the challenges
they can cause. This may in part be
because she hasn’t seen us for about 2 years.
Regardless, seeing us and seeing all that we can’t do will be a rude
awakening for her. Most likely though,
she will accuse us of not trying hard enough.
6) She
has been pressuring us for years to go and visit her out west. We try to explain how impractical this is
given our health problems, but she refuses to believe it and/or claims that it
is all due to not taking good enough care of ourselves.
7) She
is extremely controlling.
8) My
mother claims that Claudia has matured a lot.
This of course is based on phone conversations and nothing more. That said, Mom is still very nervous about
Claudia’s visit.
9) When
my brother and I talk to Claudia on the phone, we’ve both noticed that she is a
lot nicer, yet we both get the sense that she is trying with all her might to
hold back. In other words, Geoffrey and
I both think her agreeableness is just an act.
So, now that you are briefly caught up, the
following is a list of predictions I am making regarding what will take place
from the time Claudia arrives tomorrow till the time she leaves on the 11th. I am getting them in writing and posted
online so that if any come true, I can prove to my family that I had predicted
them before her arrival. This is not to
say that I anticipate all of my predictions to come true. I am simply trying to cover any and all
possibilities.
Predictions for the Week of Claudia’s Visit
1. Claudia
will object to me biting my nails and/or tell me that my nails are gross.
2. Claudia
won’t know how to turn on the TV or put on a DVD.
3. If
me or my brother can’t sleep at night and get up to watch TV, Claudia will yell
at me and my brother to turn down the TV.
This may lead to a fight.
4.
Claudia will talk, yell, or try to annoy me when I’m watching TV - probably
during something good like a documentary that won’t be on again.
5.
Claudia will recommend that we eat organic fruits & vegetables and
this could start an argument/fight when we try to explain that they are too
expensive. If she then buys some for us
and we don’t eat them, there will be an even bigger fight.
6. Claudia
will ask me and my brother to go to dinner with her and when we say no due to
legitimately not feeling well, she will:
A)
start fighting with us and/or throw a temper tantrum
B)
accuse us of not taking good enough care of ourselves
C) get
mad and declare that we just don’t want to go with her, which will partly be
true
D) tell
us that the reason we don’t feel well enough to go out is that we are not
motivated enough
7.
When Claudia finds out that I have pain in my chest and trouble
breathing, she will freak out and won’t believe that it is actually related to
my Fibromyalgia, which it is. Regardless
of how much I fill her in on the subject, she will secretly believe that I have
some kind of heart condition, and thus my diet must be dangerously flawed, just
like the rest of me and my life.
8. If
I’m able to go on a walk while she’s here, she will excitedly offer to come
with me, as she feels that exercise and nutrition are her areas of
expertise. When I tell her as nicely as
possible that I prefer to go alone, that it’s my “me time,” she will get upset
and possibly start a fight.
9. She
will want to use my Wii Fit, or she will want us to do Wii Fit together. If I don’t want to, this will start a fight.
10.
Claudia will either borrow my things without asking, or she will ask only to start a fight when I
refuse to lend her my things. Some
things she might take include:
A)
my shampoo
and conditioner
B)
my make up
C)
my socks –
WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN!
D)
my shirts
and possibly pyjamas as they will be very roomy
E)
my curlers
or spoodles
F)
my
hair-bands, elastics, other hair accessories, face mask, face soap
G)
sweaters
11. When
Claudia sees that my fatigue keeps me from helping out around the house or
doing anything with her, this will start a fight in which she lectures me to
stop doing things that she thinks cause my fatigue, even though said things are
unrelated.
12.
Claudia will try to convince me not to repaint my room, remove the
carpet, and refinish the hardwood floor.
She will want to know why it’s so important to me in the first place. Since I will most likely refuse to tell her,
this will start a fight.
13. If
Claudia notices that I neatly underline passages in books I read, she will
wonder why and possibly try to convince me that I shouldn’t bother, because
it’s not like I’m studying the book for school.
14.
Claudia may try to convince me to take distance education courses at the
university, especially if she sees that I am able to read once in a while. When I explain that my concentration is
unpredictable and that I probably won’t be able to make deadlines, she will
show very clearly that she isn’t satisfied with my explanation. This could start a fight as well, as she will
not understand why I can read some books and not do reading for school.
15. If
Claudia takes a shower she won’t clean out the tub and this will start a huge
fight.
16.
Claudia will lecture me, my mom, and my brother Geoffrey about the
amount of Coke we drink.
17.
Claudia will try to convince me, my mom, and my brother to get rid of
stuff that we want to keep. This could
start a huge fight.
18.
Claudia will complain about how crappy our telephones are and nag us to
get new ones.
19.
Claudia will either complain about my mother’s driving, refuse to let
Mom drive her anywhere, or suggest that Mom’s license be taken away. This will really hurt my mother’s feelings
and, of course, start a huge fight.
20. Claudia
will start a fight about how much time my brother and I spend in the house, and
won’t accept that it is due to our pain and fatigue.
21.
Claudia will get extremely frustrated with my mother for always falling
asleep on the toilet at night. Claudia
will not be able to keep her awake at night and will get angry that the alarm
Mom uses doesn’t work. She may attempt
to buy my mother a better alarm, but if this also doesn’t work, Claudia may
suggest that my mom should be in a nursing home. If not, she may suggest that this extreme
drowsiness is due to one of my mother’s medications and try to convince her to
stop taking something that she actually needs.
22.
Claudia will get extremely frustrated with my mother for falling asleep
in front of the TV or while beading.
This too will cause a fight, especially if my mom refuses to go to
bed. There will be an even bigger fight
if my mom is drinking tea in this drowsy condition, in which she can spill it
all over herself.
23.
Claudia will want to use our digital camera, and thus will be angry when
she finds out that the battery is broken and we have not yet bought a new one.
24.
Claudia will want to use my laptop and will be angry when I refuse. She will ask why my brother is allowed to use
it but not her. I will explain that
we’ve made an agreement, in which he will help me repaint my bedroom in
exchange for use of my laptop, but she will still be angry.
25.
Claudia will be angry that our desktop computer in the basement is
broken, and will nag us to plug in her old computer. If Dad refuses, Claudia will nag me about
this, as she feels I am the one in the family she has the most control
over. Since it is not my computer and I
have my own, she will be wasting her time.
26. At
some point during her visit, she will be so exasperated with us for something,
and will declare that she shouldn’t even have come.
27.
Claudia will try to convince my family to move out west with her. Apparently she has already mentioned it to my
mother before. She will claim that the
nice weather and scenery will help us with our health problems, and that if she
lives nearby she can help us with things like chores.
Okay, that’s it for now. After she’s gone I’ll try to write to let you
know which ones came true. Wish me luck,
and wish my family luck as well.
